Thursday, 30 August 2012
"I am employed by the British government. In an unusual job. Selling off anything that can raise a decent price for a government with an urgent need. The Prime Minister and the Deputy Prime Minister have decided that almost any of Great Britain’s assets, institutions, famous buildings, whatever, should be sold off to reduce the National Deficit, now galactic. Unfortunately, everything in sight has already been privatised or ‘re-engineered’ and they still have a shambles of a financial situation. But, hopefully, I’ll find stuff to sell nobody thought of. Not businesses of course, they’re private, and anyway most of them are foreign-owned now.
I’m not sure there’s going to be much job satisfaction with this assignment, but it will look good on my c.v. In any event, I’m the only one around with any real experience of this kind of stuff. Which I won’t go into right now.
At the final interview I was checked in to Number Ten and presented by a lackey to the P.M. and the D.P.M. (Deputy Prime Minister), both of them smiling. Then I discovered they were smiling at the person behind me, bringing in the tea. The P.M’s smooth, shining features assumed that false determined look that you see in all the newspapers,
‘Jason,’ said the P.M. ‘It seems you are the man for the job. Nick and I want you to have a go. Do you think you can do it - raise an awful lot of money for your country?’
‘It will certainly have my best shot, Prime Minister,’ I said.
‘Good. You will report to Nick here on everything. Nothing to be signed without his approval. Clear? Good. Then go to it.’
And go to it, I will. The salary is OK and the bonus possibilities appear to be limitless. And I get a Lexus limo, with driver. The only problem is that my contract is for one year maximum. I’m going to have to shuffle to get the max bonus in time."