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Tuesday, 9 July 2013

The Special Relationship.

Jason Bryggs wasn't present but a friendly waiter was. 
Here is a transcript of a recent breakfast meeting at the White House:

Obama: Try some of this low fat breakfast sausage, Dave. It's very British.

Cameron: Er, thanks. Um, Barack, I wanted to get on to the subject of the special relation...

Obama: If you don't like sausages, there's corned beef hash.

Cameron: I think I'll just have an egg. The relationship between our two countries has been --

Obama: The eggs are great. And you can have creamed chipped beef with. I love it.

Cameron: Really? Then that's what I'll have. So, as I was saying...

Obama: Let me give you some coffee. 2% milk?

Cameron: Thank you. Now, to get back to the special relationship.

Aide: Excuse me, Mr. President. Israel's on the line.

Obama: OK. Sorry, Dave. Gotta take this.

Cameron eats his breakfast, occasionally pulling a face. The President returns.

Obama: Got cut off. I'll have to answer it if they call again. How did you like the beef?

Cameron: Most enjoyable. Our two countries have had a long and trusting relationship, haven't they? Side by side.

Obama: Sure have.

Aide: Excuse me, Mr. President. Zang Il Kim is on the line.

Obama: I'm really sorry, Dave. This one's important. Won't be long. Try the grits.

Cameron sits and waits. The President returns.

Obama: I really like those little guys.

Cameron: I'm sorry?

Obama: The grits. Good for you, too.

Cameron: Um, Barack. Could we make a joint announcement about the special relationship between our two countries, before I leave?

Aide: Mr. President. Israel's back on line.

Obama: OK. I'll be right back, Dave.

Cameron stares at the ceiling. The President returns.

Obama: They nuked Iran!

Cameron: (choking on coffee) What?

Obama: Just joshing, Dave. My little joke!

Cameron: Ah. Yes. Very droll. Now, Barack. A joint communique about the special relationship seems perfectly in order, don't you think?

Loud ringing of alarm bells.

Obama: Darn! Another anti-terrorist alarm test. Well, we'd better get out on the lawn. I'll introduce you to a few folks and see you and Samantha tonight at the dinner. Enjoy your day!

Aide: Did I do that right, Mr. President?

Obama: You sure did. Thanks.