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Sunday, 20 July 2014

This Is My Job Spec....

I am employed by the British government. In an unusual job. Selling off anything that can raise a decent price for a government with an urgent need. The Prime Minister and the Deputy Prime Minister have decided that almost any of Great Britain’s assets, institutions, famous buildings, whatever, should be sold off to reduce the interest owed on the National Debt, which interest now totals £50 billion a year and growing. 

That's right, £50 billion a year – interest only. Unfortunately, everything in sight has already been privatised or ‘re-engineered’ and they still have a shambles of a financial situation. But, hopefully, I’ll find stuff to sell nobody thought of. Not businesses of course, they’re private, and anyway most of them are foreign-owned now.

I’m not sure there’s going to be much job satisfaction with this assignment, but it will look good on my c.v. In any event, I’m the only one around with any real experience of this kind of stuff. Which I won’t go into right now.

At the final interview I was checked in to Number Ten and presented by a lackey to the P.M. and the D.P.M. (Deputy Prime Minister). The P.M.’s smooth, shiny features wore that false determined look that you see in all the newspapers,
Bryggs,” he said. “It seems you are the man for the job. Nick and I want you to have a go."