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Monday, 15 June 2015

I've been a month now with Dave and George...

And it's not proving very lucrative.  I can't even get an interview with them to discuss my next sell-off.  And you'd think that would be easy in view of the tsunami deficit they've got.  And I've got a stunning possibility - Scotland!  I know Dave hates the place since he went on a shoot and caught his pants on a gorse bush.  And he hates even more the 'Virgin Sturgeon' as he calls the lady leader of the SNP.  But, it's no entry through the portals of Number Ten.  They don't want any interruptions from yours truly while they try to sort out the EU referendum mess they've created.  Things are looking bad.  I overheard this conversation the other day:

"You know, I'm not sure if Dave is alright these days. Do you think he's got some mental affliction? Everything he says is wrong. Everything he suggest is unworkable. Perhaps we should take some soundings and see if we can put up an alternative. What do you think?”
“Worth a try. Another double?”
“Yes, thanks. What do you think about finding a pleb for an alternative? It would help us get over our image of being the toffs' party.”
“Do we have any plebs in the party?”
“Couldn't say. Have to ask around.”