Our Foreign
Affairs Correspondent, Incho Blink, reports that in an amazing
U-turn, the British Prime Minister and her latest Minister for
International Development have cancelled the £15 billion per annum
of foreign aid intended for 51 countries in the third world and
decided to donate this amount to a single destination instead.
The Prime
Minister's Office and the Ministry for International Development
issued the following joint statement:
“It is part of
Britain's DNA to assist those with economic problems, especially the
weak and the poor around the world. But, in our unyielding
endeavours to ensure that the British tax-payer gets best value for
his and her foreign aid contributions, we have discovered much
corruption which is unacceptable. For example:
dummy states
created so as to receive aid
state assets
bundled with foreign aid and converted into private trusts benefiting
the elite
three palaces
built for one ruler
construction of a
nuclear bunker
construction of
airstrip to receive supersonic aircraft
army troops
kitted out with foreign aid funds and then rented out as security
guards
It is clearly not
right for the British tax-payer to continue to fund such practices so
Her Majesty's Government has decided to grant the totality of the
foreign aid to a reliable state and after much discussion and
consultation has nominated Northern Ireland as the future recipient.”
Incho Blink
reports that India was much put out when hearing of this decision,
whilst President Macron issued a statement saying he was glad France
had not been considered as a beneficiary. The 51 countries that had
originally been put forward for foreign aid called for United Nations
sanctions against Britain, whilst the League of African States
labelled Britain's volte-face as “the result of selfish thinking in
fading colonialist countries.” Wales and Scotland have declared
independence and the EU has increased its divorce payment demands. A
spokesman for No. 10 said 'We have always been clear that we want to
get best value for the British tax-payer and have always been
committed to this.... Er...um....”