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Friday, 5 January 2018

I worked for Theresa and Boris....

......and have written  a book about my experiences.
It's called:
 'Theresa, Boris and Me, Jason.  The Government's Top Salesman Tells All.'
Some kind reviewers said of it:

'Laugh aloud funny'

'The government has decided to sell off Britain's national treasures so that the interest on the National Debt can be paid. We follow the Government's Top Salesman – Jason Bryggs – as he finds buyers for anything that can make him rich and enhance his bonus'

'Problem's book is an insightful romp about a nation struggling to pay down its debt. Characters abound and plots sizzle, but politics rules all. Timely and very entertaining.'

'A formidable piece of incisive and entertaining satire.'

'The hero provides so much corroborative detail that I find him utterly convincing.'

'Fast moving and very amusing.'

It's available  on Amazon.  
I dedicated it to all my friends at Westminster.

Britain Changes Direction on Foreign Aid

Our Foreign Affairs Correspondent, Incho Blink, reports that in an amazing U-turn, the British Prime Minister and her latest Minister for International Development have cancelled the £15 billion per annum of foreign aid intended for 51 countries in the third world and decided to donate this amount to a single destination instead.
The Prime Minister's Office and the Ministry for International Development issued the following joint statement:
“It is part of Britain's DNA to assist those with economic problems, especially the weak and the poor around the world. But, in our unyielding endeavours to ensure that the British tax-payer gets best value for his and her foreign aid contributions, we have discovered much corruption which is unacceptable. For example:
dummy states created so as to receive aid
state assets bundled with foreign aid and converted into private trusts benefiting the elite
three palaces built for one ruler
construction of a nuclear bunker
construction of airstrip to receive supersonic aircraft
army troops kitted out with foreign aid funds and then rented out as security guards

It is clearly not right for the British tax-payer to continue to fund such practices so Her Majesty's Government has decided to grant the totality of the foreign aid to a reliable state and after much discussion and consultation has nominated Northern Ireland as the future recipient.”

Incho Blink reports that India was much put out when hearing of this decision, whilst President Macron issued a statement saying he was glad France had not been considered as a beneficiary. The 51 countries that had originally been put forward for foreign aid called for United Nations sanctions against Britain, whilst the League of African States labelled Britain's volte-face as “the result of selfish thinking in fading colonialist countries.” Wales and Scotland have declared independence and the EU has increased its divorce payment demands. A spokesman for No. 10 said 'We have always been clear that we want to get best value for the British tax-payer and have always been committed to this....”