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Monday, 6 January 2020

WELCOME TO 2020.....


Tory Minister Gavin McTruth, and his long-term associate, senior
civil servant Lord Bland, announced today that Britain will go bankrupt
14 months after Brexit.
“The evidence is there for all to see,” said McTruth at a press conference held in
Westminster's Great Hall last night.

“We asked five of our largest accountancy firms, together with a translation agency, to
give the fullest consideration to the possible outcomes of our leaving the EU,” said Lord Bland. “Their findings and predictions are quite horrifying.”

The research showed five different scenarios:

Scenario One: No countries wish to sign trade agreements with the UK, because of uncertainty as to the country's future and the doubtful competence of future governments.

Scenario Two: The Faroe Islands, Papua and Fiji become Britain's major trading partners with a drop in Britain's GDP of 3001%

Scenarios Three, Four and Five: The National Debt rises to £6390 trillion. Half-empty supermarket shelves. London deserted.

On hearing the research results, the Cabinet split five ways.
Three new Prime Ministers were selected by the Tory Party, in succession.
All resigned.

Finally, a decision was made.
A memorial service is to be held at Westminster Abbey
commemorating the demise of Great Britain
on April 1st 2020.
By invitation only, no tax-payers need apply.

Subsequently the date of the memorial service was debated seventeen times in the House of Commons and the motion was finally passed by 347 votes to 313