Oxbridge Unis will Stay in EU

A news flash that has not yet been noticed....


OXBRIDGE UNIS WILL STAY IN THE EU.
 The Universities of Oxford and Cambridge announced yesterday that they will separate from the United Kingdom and remain in the European Union.

A spokesman said: The Council of the Universities of Oxford and Cambridge voted unanimously yesterday to secede from the United Kingdom and remain members of the European Union. We recognise this may cause problems for the UK but we see no alternative. Our past and future contributions to the United Kingdom, should we stay, will be hugely under-rated and wasted in a diminishing economy.

We provide three quarters of UK judges, half of the UK's diplomats, two thirds of her Permanent Secretaries, a quarter of all MPs, nearly half of the House of Lords, and even half of all journalists and BBC executives. (This data can be checked and will be found correct and not an exaggeration.)

This achievement will be wasted on a country much diminished in every sense, with a faltering economy, a huge national debt, food and medicine shortages, rioting in the streets, further rising crime, and a general failure of an incompetent government to cope with the problems of the people they claim to represent.

We do not wish to waste our achievements and our future achievements in such an environment. We have therefore decided to take our talents and offer them to a welcoming Europe, rather than remain in the UK.”

The President of Christ Church College today said:
"We entirely support this decision. Our College has produced over the years 14 Prime Ministers and 4 foreign Prime Ministers, 17 Archbishops, 6 Olympic Gold medallists and famous composers, musicians, poets and businessmen too numerous to mention. Why should we waste our future on a discredited island country?"

The Prime Minister's office declined to comment.