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Wednesday 10 March 2021

A list left on my desk by mistake. Looks like instructions to a PPS.


Firstly, I need a new hard hat. This one’s getting a bit grubby.

And a high-viz jacket – I think I left it at that ghastly comprehensive school.

My fiancee wants an extra chaise-longue. She will tell you who to buy it from.

I want to elevate my hairdresser to the House of Lords. You should organise this with the appropriate people.

It’s coming up to a birthday for one of my offspring – not sure if it’s the fourth or the fifth. Check it out and organise a card, would you, and don’t forget to sign it ‘from your Uncle B.’

We need more Union Jacks in the Media Room.

I want some numbers on how our exports have hugely improved since Brexit.

I’m going to write a book entitled ‘U-Turns. A New Strategy for a Strong Future.’ Get someone to dig up some useful data.

I shall be at Chequers from Friday to Tuesday afternoon.. Tell my Ministers not to bother me with their problems until Wednesday. And remind them that Thursday is my hard-hat day for visiting a hospital.

Now, get my guards organised. I need to go for a bike ride.