Pageviews from the past week

Wednesday, 24 November 2021

Transcript of Breakfast Meeting at the White House, President Joe Biden and Prime Minister Boris Johnson attending.


Biden: Try some of this low fat breakfast sausage.. It's very British.

Johnson: Er, thanks. Um, Joe, I wanted to get on to the subject of the special relation...

Biden: If you don't like sausages, there's corned beef hash.

Johnson: I think I'll just have an egg. The relationship between our two countries has been --

Biden: The eggs are great. And you can have creamed chipped beef with. I love it.

Johnson: Really? Then that's what I'll have. So, as I was saying...

Biden: Let me give you some coffee. 2% milk?

Johnson: Thank you. Now, to get back to the special relationship.

Aide: Excuse me, Mr. President. Germany's on the line.

Biden: OK. Sorry, Boris. Gotta take this.

Johnson eats his breakfast, occasionally pulling his hair. The President returns.

Biden: Got cut off. I'll have to answer it if they call again. How did you like the beef?

Johnson: Most enjoyable. Our two countries have had a long and trusting relationship, haven't they? Side by side.

Biden: Sure have.

Aide: Excuse me, Mr. President. President Macron is on the line.

Biden: I'm really sorry, Boris. This one's important. Won't be long. Try the grits.

Johnson sits and waits. The President returns.

Biden: I really like those little fat guys.

Johnson: I'm sorry?Biden: The grits. Good for you, too. Reduce your waist-line, Boris.

Johnson: Um, Joe. Could we make a joint announcement about the special relationship between our two countries, before I leave?

Aide: Mr. President. Israel's on the line.

Biden: OK. I'll be right back, Boris.

Johnson stares at the ceiling. Rubs his head.  The President returns.

Biden: They nuked Iran!

Johnson:  What? My god!

Biden: Just joshing, Boris. My little joke!

Johnson: Ah. Yes. Very droll. Now, Joe. A joint communique about the special relationship seems perfectly in order, don't you think?

Loud ringing of alarm bells.

Biden: Darn! Another anti-terrorist alarm test. Well, we'd better get out on the lawn. I'll introduce you to a few folk and see you and Carrie tonight at the dinner.

Aide: Was that Okay, Mr. President?

Tuesday, 2 November 2021

Ad. The Westminster Experience!





What is the stunning

'Westminster Experience'?

.it's your chance to mingle with the mighty

and savour the delights of power.....


Nod off with a Lord in the House of Lords!

Shout and jeer with your MP - at Prime Minister's Question Time!

Take tea on the Terrace with a lobbyist!

Have an aperitif in one of the 14 taxpayer-subsidised delightful bars!

Then have lunch in one of the 9 taxpayer-subsidised luxury restaurants!

Meet party fund-raisers! (Credit reference required.)

Optional Extra! Shake the Hand of the Deputy Prime Minister!

Discounted tickets are available at the House of Commons Gift Shop

Don't Delay – Apply Now!